British BBQ Society Forums

Apparently I've upset my next door neighbour. She knocked today after my latest BBQ (2 weeks ago). Started by telling me that she'd had to clean her kitchen, but she was fairly cool about that. Then told me that hot ash had descended onto her husband's motorbike cover, melting it in spots.

Can only imagine it happened during the lighting of the chimney starter.

Any thoughts? Any way to stop it happening?

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Would be amazed if you were to blame.

90% of my smokes have been lit under a parasol due to weather & nothing seems to get that high, let alone carry in the wind. There are a lot of hot bits when you empty a chimney, but at night you see how little distance they travel.

Perhaps only my experience, but can't see how you would cause so much carnage. Her having to clean the kitchen as a result of your smoking?!?


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Thinking about it, I smoke within 12ft of our 2 convertibles and have never had any issue at all, hot bits would have to firstly clear the fence, secondly be of a decent size not to burn out & thirdly still hold heat mass on the way down, can't see it happening, ever!?


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Hi
She is taking the P---.
Si

30 years in the Fire Service, fire investigation officer, hazardous materials officer, can't say its impossible but you would have to be reckless in your actions to have caused the damage. As for the dust, any passing truck will throw up more than a careful BBQer can produce. Make sure you are prepared in case your unhappy neighbour gets a jobsworth "official" from environmental heallth to show an interest. Have a bucket of water, or garden hose, or fire extinguisher handy when you BBQ, check the wind direction, don't produce smoke (though I don't think you have in the first place), the only danger point is known to you, the chimney starter.
Try inviting them round for a sausage or two so you can show them how concientious you are about safety, failing that admit nothing, deny everything, screw them.

Can't match Paul's experience with burny things, but I've dealt with more neighbourly disputes than I care to remember. I would suggest maybe a "family video" next time you cook, focusing on the chimney starter and how much care you take. The onus of proof is with them, but if they get really narky then beware of the local authority.
The aspect of having to clean her kitchen, not having seen it, seems to me to be pure unadulterated hogwash!! We keep our kitchen window open during cooking to run power cables through (yes I know naughty but essential at the moment) and bearing in mind how much the wind gusts and swirls around our garden we have never had any ash on the window or inside the house. Neither has our gazebo suffered and that is next to where I put my chimney starter so no burn marks, let alone hot cinders melting the fabric.

She's just been at my door crying. Got a letter from the doctor (after coughing up blood) saying that she's been breathing carcinogens. To my knowledge, charcoal isn't usually carcinogenic?

I've had 5 BBQs this year. FIVE!! And I'm killing my neighbour.

She said "they'll want me to get environmental health" to which I said that she's welcome to.

Odd situation...making me want to move house!

Hi,
This is a tricky and delicate situation that needs careful handling.

Can I suggest you get an oil drum, fill it with broken pallets and set fire to it, if you can also fashion some sort of flaming hat, I believe there are some northern folk that have a festival around this time where they wander about with flaming tar barrls on their heads. Play Fire by that chapy called the crazy world of Arthur brown at top volume, and dance like a dervish singinging along. Perhaps if you also wish to brandish flaming barbecue tools and laugh maniacally this would also help.

The reason for this extravagant display? Because there is more chance of me appearing on "stars in their eyes" as Kylie and making the grand final as there is chance of your little bbq wreaking the havoc the shrew faced witch from next door is claiming. "ooh I had to clean my kitchen" Really? It must be a fekkin nightmare if she actually ever cooks anything in it, will probably have to go in there with a steam cleaner in some kind of biohazard suit, and the fire and brimstone raining from your garden have ignighted what? Cant even remember, but its a lie.

Should she call again I suggest you deploy the following witty repost -

Thank you for bringing this to my attention, I had not realised I lived next door to a fantasist, I suppose in your spare time you thing you are a reincarnation of Queen Victoria? She was a dumpy humourless old witch not unlike yourself, I could try really hard here and pretend to care, but looking upon you is taking all my mental effort at the moment , preferably leave my town, seems you have already opted out of the human race, good day sir.

think that should do it!
Cheers Tiny

Can you get the name of her GP I want to move closer to a Doctor who can diagnose "breathing in carcinogens" without taking X-Rays, bloodworks, assorted liver & lung tests and her spending a while in hospital.

What does her hubby have to say about it? Maybe you could discuss it over one on Marcus's Dirty Steaks?

On a more serious note, I don't know if these people could help or not.
http://www.fourseasonsfuel.co.uk/charco ... d-kilns-8/
They give advice to people who set up charcoal manufacturing so must have some knowledge of any health hazards with the burning of charcoal.

Oh and you could consent, if she wanted, to using petrol to start your legal BBQs which would reduce any floating ash particles from the chimney, of course she would then have to put up with the associated smells!!

Have you seen Me Myself and Irene??
If so I suggest (only suggest) you take note of the part of the film just after he flips and visits his neighbours front garden and proceed to follow suit!!!

Sounds like she's got nothing better to do than make up crap and harass you. You could always threaten her with harassment and go to citizens advice.

Nothing worse than a bad neighbour, feel for her erm I mean you