Worst BBQs

[thelawnet]

Any nominations?

Last week went to see my grandma, brought chicken legs, steak, etc. dimly remembering they had a BBQ.

Turned out it was trolley type with no lid, suffered flare-ups, burnt skin, etc., really useless. Long time since I'd used such a thing and it was a big disappointment.

This weekend went to the beach, decided on the spur of the moment to buy a disposable BBQ in Tesco and some sausages, kebabs and other suitable items. Much better!

[keith157]

Give me to the end of the month, we're expecting to be asked to a "family BBQ" their forst one. 2 Father's days ago they turned up with just about every supermarket "bbq pack" known to man for me to cook...............

[Verminskti]

Not sure what you mean by trolley barbecue. Do you mean just the flat grills, no lid, move heights to control heat? I cook for 25 on mine with no flare ups. It depends on how you use the barbecue and they can take getting used to. I cooked on a friend's OTP and struggled with the sheer heat that thing puts out.

My Dad found his latest grill at a campsite. It had been used a week and thrown away without the grill insert. i.e. the useful bit. So he put his aussie grill plate in it. Only that sits on the bit the bottom grill for the lava rock is supposed to sit not on the hooks for the cooking grill so even with only one side on as low as it would go I was charing burgers a goodun on Sunday when I went home and had to use it for 13 people. Took me 5 minutes but I got there.

So worst BBQ unit, don't really have one although some are more equal than others and the gas piece of garbage my old man has is up there!

People however are morons. The worst BBQ I have been to has two contenders.

One: Someone had one of the cheap round barbecues with the metal half section (the bit that holds the grill) missing. When I arrived they were trying to cook two burgers on the grill placed directly on the ring of the charcoal dish. They were wondering however why the burgers weren't cooking and as soon as I turned up asked me to take a look. The charcoal spread nicely under it was black as night. I wouldn't say any was even lit. So anyway I burnt the charcoal white, two zoned the bad boy and got through the burgers and sausages.

Two: Some friends saw a fold away barbecue when they were buying one and thinking it seemed handy bought it. They have never put it away. It's an upside down A frame type design. They had brought a smelly alley bbq pack (lots of cheap, low quality meat) and proceeded to put the the burgers, sausages and belly pork over a hot flame. They started to get a lot of flare up but rather than slow the roll continued to place meat until the whole grill was full. I kid you not food so black you couldn't tell what meat was what. My Mrs came late to the BBQ and commented "I'm not used to having burnt food". Possibly the highest compliment I've had in years!

[keith157]

It wasn't the worst BBQ the food, & company were great!!!! However it certainly ranks as the most painful. My boss had "lost" his proper (i.e. long metal things) bbq tongs and burger flipper, when he went in to sort out the sides and salads asked me to look after the food. No problems, not the first time till I was confronted with a normal plastic fish slice for non-stick pans and a similar length & flexible set of tongs. I can't get the hang of using tools with my hands wrapped in tea towels. This year a spare set is going in the car just in case.

[aris]

I good cook can make excellent BBQ with the simplest of tools - even some rocks and a couple of sticks. It's in the skill and experience, not your tools.

[keith157]

I good cook can make excellent BBQ with the simplest of tools - even some rocks and a couple of sticks. It's in the skill and experience, not your tools.

I agree in principle BUT, I defy you to try to flip burgers, turn sausages and chicken portions on what Mr Raichlen calls a 1-2 mississpi fire with a plastic 6 inch spatula and tongs without any problems. If you read the post correctly you will note I said the bbq was great just PAINFULL!!!!
I'm more then happy to replicate the circumstances should you wish to contest my assertion.
We only have one member on here who has, by his own admission, asbestos skin and apparantly he won't sell it.

[Swindon_Ed]

The worst BBQ that i ever went to, was where a friend was only using one pair of tongs for everything. He was taking off cooked food with the same tongs that he'd just used seconds before to place raw chicken on the grill. Everything had a coating of the chicken marinade so i was very picky about what i chose to eat and what i left well alone.

[keith157]

It is a miracle that those kind of "cooks" haven't killed anyone.

A long time ago, the BBC Good Food show had a BBQ contest with avid bbquers and chefs. They tricked up some saushaes by placing icicles inside them. Of the avid bbquers less then half had cooked them sufficiently for the middle to be cooked even though the outside was "nice and crispy". What was more worrying, out of their kitchens, around a third of the chef's sausages still had ice in them.

[Verminskti]

Aside: What do you guys think the best way with tongs is? I tend to put on by hand, go wash hands and then turn/take off with tongs. However it gets laborious washing hands all the time and sometimes I worry about tongs touching the uncooked side of a chicken breast say. I don't want to wear plastic gloves for putting meat on but are there any other options and am I just being paranoid with tongs?

[keith157]

No paranoia involved. I have two sets, 1 red handled which I use for raw food and a black handled set for cooking with. I have one of those cheap rubber "trugs" with hot soapy water and a towel on a side table just in case. When all the raw food is on I was the red tongs then, even if the hygene isn't perfect it's a lot better then doing nothing.